New York Times Best Suggestions Sort of Suck!

cocktail
Tip Number 6–Don’t bug the bartender.

I like the New York Times. I’m an online subscriber and try to read it every day. But sometimes The Times runs the most annoying articles and features. I’m not talking about the political pieces. If I didn’t agree with The Times Editorial Board in the matter of Donald Trump I probably wouldn’t be a subscriber. No, I’m talking about the times they try to humanize their paper. To help us out with the little things in life. To make us be more productive. To make us shine!

One of those types of articles popped up last week. 8 Delightful Tips for Living a Smarter Life in 2019. Enough to make you cringe, isn’t it? And to make it even more creepy, this is a “Greatest Hits” compilation of tips that have appeared in The Times throughout the past year. Since most Best Lists have at least 10 entries, I will assume that even the column editor Tim Herrera had a hard time finding many good tips in The Times from 2018.

So let’s take a look at what my favorite paper (sorry Trib) thinks are the best ways to make us live a smarter life–and how I feel about those tips and strategies.

  1. Only answer email once or twice a day. Oh, come on. In the business world, electronic communication is the lubrication that keeps things sliding along. Today a problem was brought to my attention. It took a round robin of emails to clarify the situation, identify the team that would need to work on it, and set up a meeting time that would work for everyone. If only one of those emails went out each day, we would have a better chance of putting Elon Musk himself on Mars before our issue was even addressed.
  2. Quit being the flaky friend. Not bad advice, but if you are the flaky friend, the one who will “say yes to everything, never mean it and when they show up, they’re late” you probably aren’t reading The New York Times anyway.
  3. Try a tipsy grocery store shopping trip. A recommendation to plan your social events around the wine bar at your local Whole Foods. Now, I can admire a well-stocked grocery store as much as anyone, and I have been known to make a lunch out of samples, but come on–do I want to tell my wife our Saturday night date is at Trader Joe’s?
  4. Can’make the party? Don’t apologize.  Or according to Scaachi Koul, author of this tip, don’t even bother to say you won’t show up. Now it is possible this particular advice was given tongue-in-cheek, but she is Canadian, so I don’t think so! I’ll just be sure to keep Ms. Koul and any other non-responders off our future guest lists.
  5. Don’t worry about leaving the house at the same time as your partner. This is a recommendation that if half a couple likes to head for an event or outing early, while the other half prefers leaving at the last minute, rather than argue each part of the couple should just head out at their own preferred time.  Barb and I do struggle with this at times, but leave separately?  It’s advice that might work in Manhattan or Lincoln Park where anywhere is no more than a brisk walk or crowded subway ride away. But for suburban living…no way!
  6. Order a cocktail without annoying the bartender. I guess that one is for people who go to bars like The Aviary where you have to make a reservation two months in advance. Most people I drink with at the Mexican place down the street just ask for a Margarita. The only decision is salt or no salt.
  7. Listen to video game music while you work. Does this make sense to anyone over 20 years old?
  8. Just be a better listener. Ok, I can deal with this one. And may I ask you to be a good reader as well!

That’s it. Maybe by next year The Times will be able to come up with a full top ten list. In the meantime, what are YOUR tips for smarter living?


Wednesday’s Blog Comment of the Day: Saw Green Book yesterday. Sad funny and meaningful all at the same time. Excellent film.  Marty Zak


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photo credit: Ian E. Abbott <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/103579181@N02/45686160562″>Mai Tai</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;

The Green Book and Mudbound: Two Movies of Black and White

mudbound-green-book-collage
The Green Book and Mudbound explore race relations in the South.

Holiday Season is Viewing Season too, and Barb and I have used the extra free time to watch a pair of movies. We saw The Green Book at the theater as part of dinner and a movie night with friends, and Mudbound at home on the evening of Christmas Day after sending the family packing and cleaning the house. The first has been getting great word of mouth and we actively sought it out, the second is a less recognized though highly acclaimed Netflix-produced film from last year that we stumbled across. They are both moving stories of race and hate and love.

The Green Book is the lighter of the two films. It’s a buddy film, it’s a road film, it’s a film of racial divide, as a white bouncer from New York drives and in other ways assists a black pianist on a barnstorming tour through white establishments from Ohio to the Deep South in 1962. A little Driving Miss Daisy, a little It’s a Wonderful Life, a little Goodfellas, and a whole lot more.

Don Shirley, the musician played by Mahershala Ali, has the education, the talent, and the diction of the upper classes, but is just an excluded Negro in the South. His private torments extend beyond race. Viggo Mortenson is Tony Lip, the temporary driver, street smart and tough, but with an expansive heart and a commitment to get Shirley to every show, no matter the circumstances.

Mortenson has done road pictures before, and no matter how desperate the situation here, nothing compares to the absolute bleakness of 2009’s The Road. But in both pictures, we learn of the power of love.

Love is also the last redemption in the much starker, more despairing movie, Mudbound. The setting is once again the racial divide of the South, this time in the World War II 40’s. A black family and a white family tied together by the land they farm, struggle against each other, the culture that makes them enemies, and nature that plagues them with unyielding fields and never-ending rains. Any act of friendship or kindness between black and white is viewed with suspicion, every action has the potential of being the lit fuse that sets off the powder keg. After the horrible, the unspeakable does occur, one character acts to destroy hate, another finds he must re-create himself “not for war. But for love.”

These are not Christmas movies. But isn’t that final message what we need the season to be about?


Best Comment from Friday’s PostTHANKS–A BREATHE OF FRESH AIR–John Markay


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3 Elections and a Question. No Politics Involved!

deco-comp
The Laboratory lights up for the holidays.

No, not the Mid-Terms. There wasn’t much drama in my solidly blue district. But three elections I was involved with in the past month all hit closer to home.

Hometown Hoedown

Want to caucus? I was recently invited to participate on a Nominating Committee picking candidates for 3 Board of Trustee positions in our sleepy little village. We are small enough to fall under the control of a quaint Illinois law calling for a “political” party to choose candidates to run for Village offices. The 13 or 14 local residents invited to be on the Committee became the screening group for the “party.” The public could then caucus and approve our slate, or choose other candidates for the municipal election in the spring. Confused?  So were we!

We mailed announcements to every home in the village inviting people to toss their hat into the ring. We created an application packed with tough questions about our Village, its future, and its challenges. We expected four or five applications to be filled in and returned; we were overwhelmed to receive ten!

Our next step was to interview each candidate. The Committee sat at a long table at the front of the room, while one at a time the candidates came to the podium for a grilling. Yes, it felt like a Senate inquiry. No, there were no allegations of misconduct and no heated defense speeches were required. In short, not much drama. We asked, we listened, and then we chose (secret ballot of course.)

We must have done a good job, all three of our choices were approved at the Village caucus meeting last month. Good luck to our candidates next spring.

Neighborhood Knockdown

Talk about a snoozefest. For the last 20 years, our subdivision Home Owners Association Board of Directors elections have been rather boring affairs. A minimal number of homeowners cast ballots for the rare souls interested in accepting the grief that comes with planning snow-plowing, landscaping, road maintenance. Barb is one of those souls and has shared in the usual highs and lows.

But this year, election night was different! Secret slates! Magic proxies! Challenged signatures! Let’s get ready to rumble boys and girls!

It took the Association attorney to sort out the mess. Barb looks forward to another challenging 2-year term.

Delightful Decorating

The final vote of the year was of a cheerier sort. For the first time, our lab held a  “Decorate Your Area” contest. We went from drab to dazzling overnight. There are magnificent toy soldiers, angels from on high, and loaded stockings hanging on paper fireplaces. The original plan was to have me as the sole judge. I used Executive Privilege to decide everyone would have a say, and our three winners were selected by the entire lab. But really, the whole lab won in this contest!

?

What was your favorite moment of 2018? And if you could vote for anything in 2019, what would it be?


Best Comment on Wednesday’s Post:

I love this post!  May I print it out and post it for my techs to read?  One of my pet peeves is little flecks of paraffin stuck to things. Microscope, counter, desks etc.  It seems to migrate everywhere.  Finding it on the microscope when I go to check slides is good for a major rant!~Linda Blazek, Dayton, Ohio


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The Pathologist and the Pea

slide-tray
A tray of slides that may demonstrate prostate cancer under the microscope.

You all remember the story of the Princess and the Pea. In the fairy tale, a beautiful young woman of questionable parentage is proven to be royalty when a pea at the bottom of a stack of mattresses disturbs her enough to prevent her from sleeping. (I know, they had weird tests for royalty back before 23andMe made it simple.) Hans Christian Anderson wrote one version, and a young Carol Burnett starred in a Broadway adaptation called Once Upon a Mattress.

As you may have surmised, I have NO royal blood. I usually sleep through the night like a petrified log. You could put a dozen squawking chickens under my mattress and I wouldn’t budge until my alarm clock chirped at 5:05.  But at the lab, something smaller than a pea can cause me immense discomfort.

Looking at slides through a microscope for at least 3 or 4 hours a day takes concentration and good equipment. An ergonomic microscope, an equally ergonomic chair, my assortment of favorite pens and markers, and most importantly, well made and expertly stained tissue slides are all I need. And that is exactly what I get most of the time. But all it takes is a speck, be it dirt, paraffin wax, or mounting medium, on the back of a slide to throw me thoroughly out of whack.

Diagnosing prostate cancer is, of course, a science. A small bit of the knowledge is picked up in medical school, more in a pathology residency, and much more in a fellowship or certification training. But as I have learned through years in practice, it is the art of pathology that is the secret to managing a pile of slides with its stack of requisitions. Sure, there are cases where the tumor practically jumps off the slides and writes itself onto the Final Pathology Report. Those are important to diagnose and doing so is essential to the well being of the patient. But they offer little intellectual challenge for the pathologist.

The artistry is in the less obvious cases. Your eyes look through the microscope at the slide, and there are benign glands and stroma, the normal structures you expect to see. But with that first look, some primal scream tells you there is a disturbance in The Force. Something is out of alignment, there is trouble ahead. The abnormality may not show up on that first slide, but extraordinarily careful examination of each millimeter of the patient’s multiple biopsy cores is called for.

Could what appear to be benign inflammatory cells in actuality be small cell cancer? Are those bland, pale cells fading into the background a clear cell variant of prostatic adenocarcinoma? Has a bladder cancer sneaked into the prostate while I was looking the other way? An associate once told me he could “smell” cervical cancer on a pap smear two seconds after starting to look at a slide. I know that he too was talking about a ripple in The Force, some subtle change that he only recognized after looking at tens and hundreds of thousands of slides.

Going back to the tiny speck of wax or mounting medium stuck to the bottom of my slide. That tiny speck is just enough to throw the slide off balance on the microscope stage. All of a sudden the slide and I are both out of focus. The subtle, subconscious clues disappear. I am back to being a first-year pathology resident, looking for the obvious, seeing only what bites me in the behind on my comfortable, ergonomic chair.

It’s enough to make me feel like Carol Burnett with that blasted pea under her mattress. Broadway here I come!


Best Comments on Tuesday’s Post:

“If you host, I’ll watch!” – Lu Leach

“You are smart enough for jeopardy, classy enough for the Oscars but way too intelligent to get involved with show business!”– Jimmy Nuzzo

 


The opinions expressed are those of the author, not of UroPartners LLC.


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10 Reasons Why I’ll Host Them Damn Oscars!

oscar-hostDear Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences:

I hear the Oscar Awards are coming up pretty soon. And I hear you are having trouble getting yourselves a host for the broadcast. The Kevin Hart thing didn’t work out too well. Neither Johny Carson nor Bob Hope is around to bail you out. Well, February is a good month for me to travel, and L.A. is sure warmer than Chicago that time of year, so here I am, waiting for your call.

This isn’t the first high profile job I have applied for. For the sake of the country, I had volunteered to be a Trump Cabinet Secretary (little did I know how over-qualified I was-and how lucky I was to be rejected.) I have volunteered to replace Alex Trebek when he reaches his Final Jeopardy (so far all I have heard from Alex is “Wrong Again Les.”)

But this is different! I am ready! I am prepared! So Oscar Gods here is my application.

TEN REASONS I SHOULD BE THE OSCAR HOST

  1. I have never told a gay joke. In fact, some would say I have never told a joke. Barb did once accuse me of having no sense of humor.
  2. I have never given anyone the wrong envelope unless you count that Valentine I gave to the wrong Debbie back in 7th grade.
  3. I have a friend who is a film critic (of course he tells me why every movie I like is crap.)
  4. I thought it was a great idea to have a “Most Popular Movie” Oscar category.
  5. I bought a new tux for my kids’ weddings. I need an excuse to give it a 3rd wearing.
  6. I promised Barb that someday I would introduce her to Bradley Cooper.
  7. I promise not to drink, snort, or inject my way through the 3 to 4 hours the ordeal takes.
  8. I thought David Letterman’s Uma/Oprah bit was hilarious.
  9. I have always been a fan of Sacheen Littlefeather.
  10. After I do the Oscars maybe I can get a gig on Dancing with the Stars.

So give me a break,  guys. I doubt hosting the Oscars can be any harder than my day job!


Our most recent post: Mrs. Maisel Still Rocks! 


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Mrs. Maisel Is Streaming Again and You Should Be Watching!

mrs-maisel-2
Rachel Brosnahan as the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel

It has been a year since I offered all of you the Christmas present of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel. And thank you Amazon Prime for bringing us this year’s gift of Season 2. The story of the early 60’s Midge Maisel, struggling to survive as a mother, ex-wife, and stand-up comedian is back with 10 streaming episodes.

Barb and I started watching the new season early this week and have only watched the first three episodes. but I have to stop and write, now! The first two episodes were a little slow and philosophical, but with Episode 3, the writer, director, and especially the amazing Rachel Brosnahan as Midge have all hit their very hilarious stride.

The episode, titled The Punishment Room, makes me rethink my position that Veep is the most side-splitting show on television. This episode matches Julia Louis-Dreyfuss and company in laughs and F-bombs from unexpected directions.

The episode includes (you could label this a spoiler alert, but there is no way to spoil this episode):

  • A wonderful opening set piece in the apartment Midge and her kids share with her parents. It’s better choreographed than some Broadway shows I have endured. And the end of the scene is pure Home Alone.
  • A spontaneous female conscience raising seminar with inadvertant consequences.
  • Negotiations (not exactly spiritual) about a wedding reception between our Jewish heroine Midge and a rather dour priest and nun, while a young Catholic student weeps in the background. If you have watched even one episode of the series before, you know who will win this battle of fast-talking.
  • A stunningly tasteless, unrequested and unwanted bit of stand-up by Midge at a public reception. It is so cringeworthy that those of us watching at home cannot help but laugh through our horror. After all, the shotgun Midg mentions isn’t pointed at us!

Barb and I can’t wait to find out what will happen next. If you aren’t already, I recommend you become a fan of Midge Maisel. Her bootleg albums are going to be big sellers!

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The Three R’s. Doing Some Readin’, Writin’, and ‘Rithmetic.

post-itsYesterday we were political. Today we are not.

Some thoughts, questions, and observations on readin’, writin’, and ‘rithmetic.

 

 

Reading

  1. Fiction or non-fiction? In my case, I am looking for a good plot, good characters, a good climax and denouement. So it is mostly fiction for me. My last non-fiction book was about the Hillary Clinton campaign, and we know how THAT ended.
  2. How do you choose what books to read? Is there a particular reviewer or website or book list that points the way for you?
  3. What grabs your attention, the author or the title? For me, when I’m browsing the library shelves, it is the author that I am keying my selections on.
  4. What if you have decided to read a series of books by the same author. Do you:
    1. Start with the first book in the series?
    2. Start with the most current title?
    3. Choose one title in the series at random?

Writing

  1. The first blog topic? The blog was meant to be a short series focusing on the house Barb and I were building. By the way, the house has turned out just the way we planned it.  Well, almost just the way we planned it. We didn’t plan on redoing the deck, but that’s the way it goes.
  2. Other blog topics through the years? Family history, grandparenting, the arts (just heard Mrs. Maisel is back streaming,) politics, pathology (get your PSA checked!) and travel.
  3. TGFK–Thank God for Keyboards. Based on my handwriting, I was born to be a doc.
  4. Favorite note-taking device? Post-it notes. I love em, use them everywhere. I have digital ones on my monitor. And they make nice decorations too!

Arithmetic

  1. About 325 blogs in 3½ years. That’s approximately one every 4 days. But rather than being spread out that way, the blogs come in clusters. Writer’s block followed by the need to get something down on paper.
  2. Two different “Community Managers” for ChicagoNow. Matty Schwer has held the position for the last year or so and has worked hard to keep the blog site a viable entity in the ever-changing Tribune universe. Previous Community Manager Jimmy Greenfield is now the Tribune’s Blackhawks beat reporter. Hey Jimmy, hockey players after a practice or bloggers after a Blogapalooza…which group is smellier?
  3. Other ChicagoNow bloggers I have met? Just one, Kerri K. Morris, gifted teacher and writer of the “Cancer is Not a Gift” blog. And Jimmy G. skated past me once.
  4. Time to write a blog? 60 minutes, with half of that time spent on the tollway doing the mental gymnastics.
  5. 10,000. The number of readers of my most widely read blog post.

Keeping it real—reading, writing and adding it up!


The best comment on yesterday’s blog: Rae Schiff: And being ignorant and ruthless about immigration/like many other politicians. And completely being unprepared when it comes to health care reform.


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Reaching Trexit Velocity–It Is Time to Eject Trump

astronautExactly two years ago I decided to give then President-Elect Donald Trump a chance. I put aside my doubts and fears, shook hands with my one Conservative friend and bit the bullet of inevitability. But I did lay out 10 Commandments for Trump to follow. Simple things like respecting (or at least understanding) the Constitution, putting country above personal and family allegiances, and talking about bridges instead of just talking about walls.

Now, it’s time to list 10 reasons I need to see the end of Trump. Maybe I am over-cocooned in my New York Times/Huffington Post world, but this is what it looks like from here.

10 REASONS TRUMP MUST GO

  1. Ignoring the environment putting future generations at greater risk
  2. Allowing foreign intervention in domestic affairs
  3. Promoting racist ideology
  4. Initiating harmful trade policies
  5. Establishing bullying as the currency of the land
  6. Turning a blind eye to vicious foreign allies and while promoting untrustworthy foreign foes
  7. Lying, exaggerating, and amplifying to suit his needs
  8. Filling his administration with crooks and incompetents
  9. Responding poorly to natural disasters
  10. Lowering the esteem of our country in the eyes of the world

Not each of these is an impeachable offense. Perhaps individually none of them are. But as a record of the first two years of his presidency, they are a blueprint for disaster. The next two years could be worse.

Can we strap President Trump onto the next mission to Mars?

 

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photo credit: x-ray delta one <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/40143737@N02/26797379889″>1981 … John Young – comm. Shuttle 01</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/”>(license)</a&gt;