The Key to the Past

keyYesterday morning I felt something crunchy in the pocket of my blue jeans. I reached in expecting to find a crumpled receipt but instead pulled out the key to our safe deposit box in its cardboard envelope. What the heck was the valuable key doing there?

Weeks ago we had been applying for Barb’s pension from Lutheran General Hospital, where back in the 1980s, long before the days of Advocate or Aurora Healthcare Systems, she worked as an Occupational Therapist. The application required a copy of our marriage license, a document we have not been asked for in 42 years (or is it 43?)

A trip to our bank vault failed to find the license but despite the pandemic the Cook County Office of Records was able to mail me a certified copy in less than 10 days. I scanned it into my PC, mailed a copy to the pension administrator, then made another trip to the bank and placed the original in the vault. I must have jammed the key in my pocket that day and totally forgot about it–until I reached into my pocket yesterday and like Little Jack Horner I pulled out a plum.

Do many people still have bank safety deposit boxes? They are very special repositories. This last visit brought back so many memories. The box itself contains some of the remembrances, the matured US savings bonds, the decades-old mortgage documents on the houses we raised the kids in, the certificates for trees planted in my honor in Israel. But the memories weren’t all on pieces of paper.

I was flooded with memories of the First Commercial Bank, on the corner of Morse and Clark in the city. Four times a year throughout the 1960’s I would walk to the bank with my dad or mom and sister Linda. We’d enter the busy bank lobby and immediately on the left was the elevator–the first one I can remember. Mom or Dad would let one of us kids press the green button inside the elevator car and we would descend to the basement, just one story down.

In the still and quiet basement, under the unnatural glow of fluorescent lighting, we would approach a high counter, behind which would be a very serious-looking lady or gentleman. We would produce a silver key, sign a register, and be admitted through the giant steel door, a door as thick as my mother’s arm was long, into the vault.  We passed aisles and aisles, rows and rows, of metal doors, each requiring two keys. The clerk would locate our family box, twist in the keys, and lead us to a private cubicle.

What were we doing in the vault four times a year? Dad and Mom owned “coupon bonds” with interest payable 4 times a year. To claim the interest, coupons needed to be cut from the bonds and turned in to a teller in the bank, with the proceeds deposited in the family account.

I doubt it was very much money, but the ritual made it very important to me. I remember on sunny days if the four of us were together the walk included a stop at Ashkenaz for soup and a bagel. And I remember thinking we would be clipping those coupons forever.

Sadly, the last time I visited that vault was as the executor of my mom’s estate. The bonds, Mom, Dad, and Linda were all gone–but the memories of those afternoons, the walks, the elevator, the clipping, will always live in the safe deposit box of my memories. I can always reach into my jeans and find the key.


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Have You Ever Had a Dream Like This? Would it Frighten or Calm You?

mad-worldThe dreams in which I’m dying 
are the best I’ve ever had.
Roland Orzabal, 19883

It may not have been the best dream I have ever had, but considering the subject matter, it was a strangely calm one.

I was in a large building, perhaps a factory, perhaps a school dorm. Somewhere with a large food hall, and a basement as well. Lots of people milling about, all of them relaxed and friendly. I ran into some elementary school companions, they seemed a bit surprised to see me. Apparently, I had blogged that I might not attend the event, yet there I was, a bit short of information but equal in enthusiasm with the others strolling the hallways.

Soon it became clear that we were saying our goodbyes, we were all there to die. Not gruesomely, but peacefully, at some all-encompassing, worldwide event that was to happen at precisely 2:15 a.m. Central Standard Time. The vibe was that of mass suicide, but our deaths would not require any action by any of us. It was all out of our hands. The strangest part-none of us seemed to care. We were just aware of time slipping away, slipping towards the end.

When I awoke the grandfather clock in the hallway was chiming three-quarters of an hour. Remembering the dream, I quietly turned to my bedside clock, taking pains not to rouse Barb beside me in bed, or Cooper in his crate in the next room.  I was relieved to see it was now 3:45. 2:15 had passed without a ripple in the life force.

What brought on a dream in which humanity would quietly slip away in the night? Who can say what feeds our subconscious? But I know that after a day of reading newspapers, watching the TV news, and sitting through the Sunday political shows from Meet the Press to 60 Minutes, I had commented to Barb that we are doomed. If deadly, mutating COVID didn’t get us, then the inevitable violent revolution would.

But in my dream, the world ended with a whimper, not a bang. I’m just hoping it doesn’t end at all.


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This Blog Has Decided to Dump the Trump

Photoe Courtesy Chicago Tribune
Photo Courtesy Chicago Tribune

Businesses everywhere are untying themselves from Donald Trump. From  Twitter to the PGA to Deutsche Bank, Trump is out. To quote Gail Collins in the New York Times, “you get the impression a lot of people are just rooting through their offices, trying to find some minor Trump connection they could announce they’re severing.”

So let me get off the Trumpapalooza bandwagon too. “What?” you say. “You are a left-wing libber. You were never a Trump follower, contributor, or voter. What bandwagon were you ever on?”

Let me explain. As for so many in the media (am I really in the media?) many of my best-read blogs were devoted to the President. When no one else wanted a job in his administration I asked (tongue firmly in cheek) for a Cabinet position. I suggested (tongue even more firmly in cheek that Ivanka hire Barb as her personal designer. And after months of my harmless joshing, when Trump tried to drive a stake through Obamacare I wrote that it was time to repeal and replace the Donald. That proved to be the most widely read blog I have ever written.

I have written less about Trump through the succeeding years. What, after all, is the point of preaching to the choir. You, my favorite reader, already know how I feel about our leader, and most of you feel the same way. I doubt if I have changed one mind, though perhaps I have gotten a laugh or two from some of you.

And so, with one week left in the quagmire of Trumpolitik, I pledge to never again write about Donald, Ivanka, Melania, Rudy, or even Mike Pence. I promise if the name Jared appears it will be in a blog about the former Subway Guy. I give my word that there will be no talk in this blog about the 25th Amendment.

Believe me, from now on, all my blogs will be just perfect. Would I lie to you?


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