Category: parenting

Five Things We Get From Our Parents

AlanisIsn’t it ironic…

…don’t you think?

Alanis Morissette-1995

There is a bit of hoopla this year about the 20th anniversary of the release of “Jagged Little Pill,” the Alanis Morisssette album that, at least for awhile, turned the young singer-songwriter into a superstar. Laury was 9 at the time and wanted to buy the album, featuring the song “You Oughta Know”, but Barb and I objected. The lyrics  were even more blatantly sexual than the usual pop music of the time. In a bit of irony, “You Oughta Know” reached our car CD player anyway, by means of the “1996 Grammy Award Nominees” CD. Alanis got her Grammys, and Laury got her song on her dad’s CD player. I hope Alanis has turned out OK, I know Laury has.

As parents we try to bring up our kids in a way that will make them safe and, we hope, reflect who and what we are. In some places and times this becomes impossible, and as Chicagoans and most of the country have read this week, the results can be tragic. But I am a little pensive this  morning, thinking about just what got passed from generation to generation, l’dor v’ v’dor.

  1. Physical appearance–I look in the mirror every morning and see Dad staring back at me. The physical resemblance is now striking. I am taller and a bit huskier, but as far as facial features and  hair color, I have become the man my father was at this stage in his life.  Michael is following our pathway too. A very dominant Y chromosome.
  2. A sense of commitment–I know that Dad woke every morning at 4:10 to make the journey via CTA bus and the El to his white color job, arriving at  by 7 a.m on the dot. No complaints, it is just what he did 6 and occasionally 7 days a week. I follow that almost obsessive pattern, but at least I have modified it to 5 days a week at 5:05. And no need to wait outside in the rain or snow at a bus stop. Dad never learned to drive, I sure as hell did!
  3. Love for a good read–There are three reading habits I picked up from Dad. Time Magazine every week (something I still do), Ellery Queen Mystery Magazine every month (something I fear I have grown away from), and a good novel anytime (something I still love.) Right now I am in the middle of three novels–a Joseph Finder audio CD in the car, a Daniel Silva hardcopy on my nightstand, and “Day of Atonement” on my Kindle for a book club I am joining. Dad would be proud.
  4. Love of baseball–The only sport that Dad enjoyed watching. A love he passed to me, a love I have passed to Michael. Dad never saw a championship, I got mine ten years ago, Michael’s may be right around the corner.
  5. Our lifespan–OK, this one is not precise. But we know that genetics do play a role in how long we will be around. And here is the irony.  Dad died from widely metastatic prostate cancer and, quite coincidentally,  I am spending this part of my professional career diagnosing and aiding the treatment of men with the same disease. I get my annual PSA, I run and raise money for Prostate Cancer Awareness, I gave up red meat (right, yeah, how long did that one last?) Hopefully the good karma will help me combat any bad gene juju that may have gotten passed down the line.

Not much on the house…signed a few papers for the Homeowners Association and now they have officially blessed us. I suppose they used Holy Water from the pond next to the lot. May the Good Lord have us digging before the pond becomes an ice rink.

OK–we got somber and introspective today. Have a great weekend and I promise lots of laughs by Monday!

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If You are A Parent, or Have Ever Had One–The Forever Plan is for You

rodAnd don’t it seem like a long time…

…seem like a long time…

…seem like a long, long time.

Rod Stewart–1971

I am not sure if it quite qualifies as my favorite album, but Mod Rod’s masterpiece is the only recording I have ever bought in both the vinyl and CD versions. The album lays mouldering in a box in the basement (note to self–need to purge basement miscellaneous prior to move), but I still pull out the CD every once in a while. And I believe “Maggie May” may be the most played song on my playlist, just edging out “Sultans of Swing”.

Songs aren’t the only thing that lives forever. This weekend Barb and I upgraded our phones. Sunday night at a family dinner celebrating our anniversary, our 29 year old daughter Laury, an experienced math teacher, living in the city for years, asked if she was still included on our plan. She has taken the phone carrier’s “Family Plan” one step further and created “The Forever Plan.” With the “Forever Plan” some things just go on and on. Here are the features of the “Forever Plan.”

  1. Cell phone charges. The “Forever Plan” state the adult child’s iPhone charges must be paid for on the parent’s cell phone plan long as a potential carrier exists. This does not mean aforementioned child is under obligation to ever call parents.
  2. Health insurance. The Affordable Care Act has made this automatic on parent’s policies until the child hits age 26. With the “Forever Plan” there is no limit. Your adult children can be part of your plan until you hit Medicare age.
  3. Auto Insurance. Your child lives in the city and parks on the street, but under the “Forever Plan” you tell your insurance agent they still live in your suburban home and park in the garage. Lower premiums, but of course they are paid by the parents.
  4. Pet services. Parents must always be available to watch the dog, cat, parakeet or gold fish, no questions asked. Must also be available to respond to “The dog ate the Halloween candy. What do I do?” question at short notice.
  5. Emergency Road Service. Parents must always be available to assist at the site of a dead battery or overheated radiator. At a recent party, two sets of parents were obliged to interrupt there evening to respond to their adult children on this one. We are actually pretty proud that last time that Laury had a dead battery she did NOT call us.
  6. Home Repair Service. Under the “Forever Plan” washing machines are fixed, TV sets installed and toilets plunged. On repairs taking over 3 hours, the parent will bill the child for a large margherita pizza.
  7. Grandchild care. Ok, we would pay for the privilege of this one!

By the way, no insurance agent will sell you the “Forever Plan.” Why do parents do all this? We do it because we love our kids, the adults they have grown into and partnered with, and the choices they have made. If the plan was for sale, the premium would of course be priceless!

Now on to the home building. Barb is visiting a window showroom with the architect today. She will get to see the muntins first hand. For those of you unfamiliar with our muntin situation, here is a look back. Still not in for permits, but we hope to have a hole in the ground before the first frost. Anyone betting against us?

Kudos and Attaboy to buddy Roger, the only reader to correctly identify our Halloween costume. Some of you recognized Barb and I as Paul Stanley and Gene Simmons, but only Roger added in the berets, the striped shirts and the cravats to come up with FRENCH KISS. Now I understand why both Roger and I have been on TV game shows. Our minds are just warped enough.

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