A Loud Lady Tells The World How To Beat Trump

anne-beat-trump

 

Hi, it’s Anne. Remember me?

I couldn’t watch either of the big events. No, I couldn’t watch him preen at his State of the Union address, though I did see the SloMo replay of Nancy shredding paper a few dozen times. And I couldn’t watch the impeachment farce vote. All that hypocrisy.

But what comes next? Along with the Iowa Caucus fiasco, the whole march to a never-going-to-convict impeachment reminded me of how clueless the Democratic party can be. Need more examples? Remember the Affordable Care Act rollout? Remember Hillary’s campaign?

My problem is that I agree with most of the ideals that the various parts of the Democratic Party support. Things like religious and sexual freedom from government interference. Things like available, affordable, health care. Things like a patched-up safety net, preferably one with some “bounce-back ” springs built in. Things like a belief in science. But how do we get there?

Here are this crazy lady’s suggestions to get Trump out of the White House before it is too late and we solidify the Age of Trump and his minions. You know who they are-President Ivanka, President Don Jr., President Barron.

 HOW TO BEAT TRUMP

  • Screw the long, drawn-out primary system this year. Iowa has already shown us what can go wrong. Get all the potential candidates in a back room and come up with ONE candidate who can win the key swing states. To me, it’s someone from the center, because this is the year to WIN, not the year to push a particular agenda.
  • Let everyone else withdraw from the primaries. Think of the money you can all save.
  • Inspire those looking toward a more revolutionary approach with a Vice-Presidential candidate that will be ready to lead in 4 or 8 years. Surely any drastic overhaul in our way of life can wait that long if it accomplishes deTrumpification in November.
  • Every Democratic leader, from the most northern Aleutian Island to the southern-most Florida Key, needs to offer strong support to the chosen candidate. No back-biting. No “It should have been me’s.” UNITE, UNITE, UNITE.
  • Mike Bloomberg, keep spending your millions. But spend them in support of the candidate of a united Democratic party, not yourself.
  • Mitt Romney, your “profile in courage” impeachment vote was a nice start, but you have so much more to do. Run for President on a third party. Any third party! It was rumored that you would do it in 2016. Now is the time. You have no chance to win, but you can be a spoiler, siphoning off the votes of any Republicans who haven’t lost their mind to Trump Nation. Be the Ralph Nader we need.
  • Get out the vote!

This may be my fantasy. But we can do this! Share the word!


Anne U Phylaxis borrows this blog from Les every once in a while. Write to her at anne.u.phylaxis@columnist.com


photo credit: cszar Say Aah via photopin (license)_


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Forget the Super Bowl–It’s “The Primary Shuffle”

shuffle

In honor of tonight’s upcoming debate, it’s

THE PRIMARY SHUFFLE

We are the Dems Primary Crew
We’re all here, with thoughts for you
We run in Iowa, we run in New Hampshire
We’re trying to show our presidential stature
There’s a dozen of us, or maybe more
Remembering our names is a statistician’s chore
We don’t want to burst anybody’s bubble
We just want to win the Primary Shuffle

My name is Warren and I got plans
The Prez thinks I’m Poci, he don’t understand
I’m the Iron Lady that looks like your teacher
I’ll never hear you say that say you want to impeach her
You told me Medicare for All was a real non-starter
I’m ditching that intention, I ain’t no martyr
I’m going to debate and show my mental muscle
My biggest plan is “Win the Primary Shuffle.”

I’m Sleepy Joe Biden been around forever
People say that I’m nice, not many say that I’m clever
Obama and me, we made a really good team
For eight long years, we were the liberal’s dream
I took credit for the good, and I dissed the bad
Yeah my son is Hunter, I’ll disown that lad
His relation to Ukraine I’m going to have to muffle
If I want to win the Primary Shuffle.

Don’t you know I’m Bernie, the loud talking guy
I yell and I point, don’t really know why
I’m way to the left, I’m the socialist leader
Warren thinks she’s me, but I’m going to defeat her.
My heart attack, well that’s really no factor
Let Larry David step in, he’s a damn good actor
Capitalism is dead, just hand me the shovel
And I’ll be on top of the Primary Shuffle.

I’m Mayor Pete, I’m a down-home boy
I come from Indiana, near Barack’s Illinois
You can’t say my last name? I don’t blame ya’
I just want to stay running, at least ’til Pennsylvania
I’m sorta in the center, I’ll be the moderate winner
Though in national stuff I’m barely a beginner
What I want from you is not too subtle
I need your vote in the Primary Shuffle.

We’re the late coming pair, we couldn’t be dumber
We thought we’d get away without running in the summer
Yeah I’m Billionaire Mike, I fixed New York City
Pushing Stop and Frisk, I guess it wasn’t very pretty
And I’m Deval Patrick, former Governor of Mass
I don’t go negative, I just show a lot of class
We’re so late, lots of feathers we can ruffle
As we make our first move in the Primary Shuffle.

Here’s the rest of us, we hope you still remember
Amy, Cory and Camilla, we were news last December.
Andy Yang is here, gonna give you all a bonus
It’s a lousy plan, he hopes that you won’t notice
We waved goodbye, to Kirsten, Beat and Hickenlooper
Their campaigns ’til they dropped put us all in a stupor
We’ll never figure out all the parts in the puzzle
We’re all gonna lose the Primary Shuffle.

We are the Dems Primary Crew
We think we can win but we don’t have a clue
We want to save the nation from its current corruption
‘Cause we’re sick of DC’s daily tweeting eruption
So  go to the polling place and make your choice
One of us has got to be the people’s best voice
It’s up to you, so choose one on the double
Which candidate will win the Primary Shuffle.


The above is the opinion of the author and not UroPartners LLC


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