Just a quick list for today. My mind has been going through my mental Rolodex and I have hit upon my Top 10 songs for the COVID 19  homebound.

Ten Songs For Those Alone At Home

10.   Stuck in the Middle With You. Stealers Wheel. A song to sing to the empty chairs on your left and right.

9.    The World Outside. The Four Aces. As you gaze out your window and yearn for an end to social distancing.

8.    Every Breath You Take. The Police. It’s good you are breathing, just don’t exhale in my direction.

7.    I Saw Her Standing There. The Beatles. But I stayed six feet away and she turned and walked away.

6.    One Man’s Ceiling is Another Man’s Floor. Paul Simon. And that thin layer of floorboard and carpeting may be all that’s keeping you safe.

5.    Empty Chairs at Empty Tables. Les Misérables. This isn’t the first time we have been all alone.

4.    Rocket Man. Elton John. If I am going to be alone, get me up, up, and away.

3.    The End. The Doors. Keep your hopes up, this too will end and we will be together.

2.    The Ballad of Gilligan’s Isle. The Wellingtons. When you feel like you are all alone on a desert island, just remember that the Harlem Globetrotters could show up any day.

1.     Alone Again (Naturally). Gilbert O’Sullivan. Naturally.

I am sure there are many more. Send ’em in. We are all in this together.

And don’t miss our COVID Haiku–They have traveled around the world.

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Dear Judge,

“That’s what you get from the Jew.” Really?

You lead a bunch of Merry Pranksters that would make Ken Kesey proud. You congregate once a week in an upstairs joint in the outer ring of the Chicago ‘burbs. The object is fun and games, complete with flashing lights, blaring horns, group rituals, and even some money changing hands.

Thirty or forty people show up on a good night, with even more popping in now that the action has moved online. You have been leading the celebration for years, but I am a more recent participant, a fifth or sixth wheel invited by my buddy FormerDJ to join in on an occasional basis when the stars are all aligned and his dentist pals are too busy drilling to participate.

And you have a shtick. First, you assign everyone a nickname. Some are clever, some are obvious, some are more subversive. But having a nickname means someone is “in” and once they are in, phase two of the shtick can begin. The spirit of Don Rickles flows through you and the insults flow. Like the nicknames, the insults can be clever, obvious or subversive. And while you might not think so, some are just wrong.

FormerDJ is the only Jewish person other than me at the gathering. FormerDJ is a thick-skinned guy. Your cracks like “Only a Jew would say that” or ” You can tell who the Jew is” seem to roll off his back. But they don’t sit well with me. Old stereotypes get new life when they are repeated often enough. Saying them, even in supposed-jest, doesn’t change the fact that they are being said. People hear and people remember. And no one objects.

Although our country is in a crisis now I have faith that we will pull through. But I have a fear that things could get worse, and when they do, chants of “Jew Will Not Replace Us” may gain voice and stridency. You have not said anything like that, and I hope you don’t believe anything like that. But I counted two of your Jewish jibes during our hour-and-a-half party last Thursday night. That is two slams too many for 90 minutes. In fact, Judge, it is two too many for a lifetime. I know you are smart; don’t be a fool.

Sincerely and with hope,

The GoodDoc

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